So here I am on a Sunday afternoon,
lying in my small dorm bed, listening to The Fray, cuddled up in my grey fuzzy
blanket with MuhLady, and drinking coffee with friends. Being that I am
slightly hung over from yesterday, and already on my third cup of coffee for
the day, what better to do right now than reflect on life, right?
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| MuhLady is my lady bug pillow pet and I really don't have friends with me, just FRIENDS |
Many of you probably do not know that I thoroughly enjoy writing, when it is on my own will at least. I have always enjoyed writing but have never actually done anything with it or shared my writings with others. But I got some inspiration the other day from an ant. An ant? Yes, an ant.
I was lying on the beach at Saint
John’s the other day with my friends Aubree and Will, and I took a liking to
this one injured ant. My friends were probably questioning why I was so
infatuated with such a small creature, but I didn’t care. I was playing with
this little ant on a leaf and looking at it very closely. And in doing so I just
noticed all the little aspects of the ant and I told my friends that I thought
it was so amazing how God thought there was a need to create and place such a
small, yet detailed, bug on Earth. And that just made me think more and more about
life and the purpose everyone and everything has here.
So, thank you little ant for your
inspiration.
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| *mid tickle session* |
And so now you’re probably asking
where I am going with this, right? Well, one thing that has always been a part
of my everyday life is my sister, Megan. I call her Miguel. I do not get the
opportunity to see or talk to her everyday anymore now that I am at college,
but in some way or another she is involved in my life every day whether it be
me talking and thinking about her, or others asking about her. Or even any time
I hear someone say the R-word.
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| Brother Dean, 21 Sister Megan, 17 |
So for the people that know me,
you know that I have two siblings and that my sister has Down Syndrome. For the
people that do not know me as well, well now you know. The most common thing
that I often get people saying to me is, “Oh
I did not know that your sister had Down Syndrome”. Or the best one is when
I catch someone saying the R-word and I tell them they shouldn’t use that word
and I that I take offense to it. I do not say, “Hey I have a sister with Down
Syndrome do not say the R-word”, because why should that matter or not? The
R-word is offensive and disrespectful regardless of the fact. “Oh but you should have told me about your
sister, I wouldn’t have used that word around you if I knew!” Really?
Because that matters? Don’t use it either way, okay?
Okay enough of my little rant on the R-word…back to the point.
People that do not know me as well always say that they had no
idea I have a sister with a disability, or they ask me why I did not tell them
about her. Well, see the thing is I did tell you about my sister, I just didn’t
include the fact that she has Down Syndrome. And why don’t I tell people that
right away? Am I embarrassed of her? Do I not want people to know? Gosh, no. I
would never be embarrassed of her and I actually want everyone to know. But I do not want people to know just so that they feel sorry for me or think they need to
act a different or certain way around me just because of her. Please do not
feel sorry for me or anyone, or act differently around me. But I want people to know about her, because then they would understand why I am the person that I am
today. But I’ll address that later.
The reason I do not tell people right away about Miguel having
Down Syndrome is because I do not feel like there is a need. If you ask about
my family, I am going to say that I have one older brother and one younger sister.
I would not say, “Yeah I have one older brother and one younger sister who has
Down Syndrome, by the way”. Why would I and why should I? It is no different
than saying like, “Yeah I have one older brother who likes to hunt and has a
girlfriend, by the way”. Because that seems irrelevant, right? You do not need
to know right off the bat that my brother hunts and has a girlfriend. If we are
going to have a more in depth conversation about our families and you would
like to know more about my brother and sister, then I would tell you about them.
Having Down Syndrome is not a burden, it is just a characteristic of Miguel and
who she is. It doesn’t define her, but it makes her the person that she is.
But on another note, from my perspective, having a sibling with
Down Syndrome does not define who I am, but Miguel herself does define who I am and the
person that I have become today.
I remember when my mom told me that her and my dad were only going
to have two kids, but then she got a sign from God that she just had to have
one more child. And I am always going to be so fortunate for her acting on that sign
and having Miguel brought in to this world.
Miguel has taught me to view things in a different light, to not
judge, and to be accepting of everyone and everything that this world has to offer.
I won’t go in to detail right now, though, I will save this topic for another
posting. But I truly believe that she was put in my life for a reason and I believe
one hundred percent that she is the reason I have transformed in to the person
that I am today. Coming from a religious family, Miguel has made me realize
that everything really does happen for a reason. I do not remember exactly when
I came to the realization, but I have been living my life for some time now by
Romans 8:28. This passage says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good
of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”. It means
that everything happens for a reason. I believe in this so much that I decided
to get it tattooed on me. For those of you against, tattoos, sorry not sorry. I
believe that tattoos (if they have meaning and importance) can really tell you
a lot about a person. And Romans 8:28 can tell you the base of everything you
would ever need to know about me.
So here’s to anyone that needs a good read, that has questions
about me, that has ever used the R-word, that needs some inspiration, that is
interested to know more about my sister, or to anyone that wonders what it is
like living with a sibling who has a disability. Here is just a base for my
blogs, and I will go more into detail about all of those topics in other postings. But
for now, all I want is for you to take away a five simple things:
1. Yes I have
sister with Down Syndrome;
2. I am who I am
today because of her;
3. I live my
life solely by Romans 8:28;
4. Don’t use
the R-word, please; and finally,
5. Miguel is a
blessing not a burden
Please feel free to comment with any questions or statements, or
contact me with questions, statements or other topics you would like me to
write about. And also, feel free to share with anyone that you believe could
benefit from reading this post.
An insight into my next post about Miguel: addressing questions
you may have about her or how life is living with her-
-we do argue and act like any normal siblings would
-I do not treat her any differently than I do my brother
-she’s just like you and I, I mean she even loves taking selfies
as much as the next girl
